Divorced Before Puberty

[TheQueen]

March 4, 2010
Op-Ed Columnist
Divorced Before Puberty
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2010/03/04/opinion/04kristofimgA/04kristofimgA-popup.jpg

It’s hard to imagine that there have been many younger divorcées — or braver ones — than a pint-size third grader named Nujood Ali.

Nujood is a Yemeni girl, and it’s no coincidence that Yemen abounds both in child brides and in terrorists (and now, thanks to Nujood, children who have been divorced). Societies that repress women tend to be prone to violence.

For Nujood, the nightmare began at age 10 when her family told her that she would be marrying a deliveryman in his 30s. Although Nujood’s mother was unhappy, she did not protest. “In our country it’s the men who give the orders, and the women who follow them,” Nujood writes in a powerful new autobiography just published in the United States this week, “I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced.”

Her new husband forced her to drop out of school (she was in the second grade) because a married woman shouldn’t be a student. At her wedding, Nujood sat in the corner, her face swollen from crying.

Nujood’s father asked the husband not to touch her until a year after she had had her first menstrual period. But as soon as they were married, she writes, her husband forced himself on her.

He soon began to beat her as well, the memoir says, and her new mother-in-law offered no sympathy. “Hit her even harder,” the mother-in-law would tell her son.

Nujood had heard that judges could grant divorces, so one day she sneaked away, jumped into a taxi and asked to go to the courthouse.

“I want to talk to the judge,” the book quotes Nujood as forlornly telling a woman in the courthouse.

“Which judge are you looking for?”

“I just want to speak to a judge, that’s all.”

“But there are lots of judges in this courthouse.”

“Take me to a judge — it doesn’t matter which one!”

When she finally encountered a judge, Nujood declared firmly: “I want a divorce!”

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/04/opinion/04kristof.html?em

[pinkrose]

This brought tears to my eyes. How horrible. No child should ever have to go through something like that!!!!!! I can't even understand what makes them think that this is ok. It's NOT!!!! :mad:mad:mad:

[Christy]

:sick

[TheQueen]

That's why I'm a STRONG proponent of education for girls. Especially in less developed countries. And that's why I also think it's important to teach girls to be self-sufficient and to help them develop a sense of independence. The world needs more bright, motivated, passionate "women" like this girl who are willing to fight for their rights and the rights of their fellow sisters.

[Christy]

You are right Gordon... it's easy to take for granted what we have here, the opportunities. I think all the time how damn lucky I am things turned out the way they did for me. I mean, let's face it, I was a statistic in the making :lol Baby at not quite 19, married high school boyfriend... it is all good, but omg, to think of my kids doing that makes my head spin. I don't know, it's weird. I never know how to approach the subject with them... "Yes, it's ok for me but DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" :lol :blush And Andy gets so mad at 99% of the princess movies, where the princess has to have a prince save her and make her life better. :lol :blush

So far, though, they all seem to want to be autonomous beings, despite Disney's evil influence :lol (Go Tiana, go Tiana)

[figmentmom]

That's why I'm a STRONG proponent of education for girls. Especially in less developed countries. And that's why I also think it's important to teach girls to be self-sufficient and to help them develop a sense of independence. The world needs more bright, motivated, passionate "women" like this girl who are willing to fight for their rights and the rights of their fellow sisters.

Yes, the world DOES need more girls like this one. And it's amazing that she has been able to stand up for herself the way she has!

[TheQueen]

And Andy gets so mad at 99% of the princess movies, where the princess has to have a prince save her and make her life better. :lol :blush

So far, though, they all seem to want to be autonomous beings, despite Disney's evil influence :lol (Go Tiana, go Tiana)

Please convey to Andy I agree ONE HUNDRED PERCENT with his feelings about the pre-Ariel princesses. But even she's a little bit in that group with Cinderella, Snow White, and ESPECIALLY Sleeping Beauty. I agree. Go Tiana, Go!!

[Christy]

Tonight my ten year old was busy talking about softball on the way to tutoring and saying the word "like" a lot :lol That's what a ten year old should have to worry about, the conflicts of her many activities outside of school.

[LinHoov]

Yes, it is very sad, and the story you presented is not alone! Human trafficking is a growing business.
Slavery takes on many forms.
I've always wondered why the world is perfectly fine with enslaving women - - and why it is not recognized as much as it should be. The role of women in many societies as a slave is just "understood" or "given". There should be much more of an outcry from the advanced, industrialized nations, but nobody really wants to touch it. If the roles were reversed and men were treated the way women are: not allowed to worship alongside the opposite sex or even allowed to set foot in certain houses of worship, not allowed to drive, not allowed to have an education, not allowed to drive, not allowed to vote, beaten on a regular basis, beaten for stupid reasons like an outfit being just slightly askew...or for no reason at all, etc., well, the world would not stand for it.
In many countries, the women get AIDS and other diseases because their men fool around with as many women as they want...and then bring the nasties back to the wife. But if she strays...it could be the death penalty for her. She can't get the husband to use a condom. She can't excercise the right to prevent having children. She's trapped. At the mercy of the men. And while they slave away at home, the men go to their exclusive gentleman's clubs, smoking lounges, bars, etc.

It's crazy.

Alright...you got me up on my soapbox! Sorry!

[Christy]

I keep telling Andy I want to adopt a baby girl or ten from somewhere where this could be her fate... I think he thinks I'm not serious :lookaroun

[Computer Magic]

I keep telling Andy I want to adopt a baby girl or ten from somewhere where this could be her fate... I think he thinks I'm not serious :lookarounI would, if I didn't have to travel over seas go pickup the baby. Not to mention the high expense

[figmentmom]

I keep telling Andy I want to adopt a baby girl or ten from somewhere where this could be her fate... I think he thinks I'm not serious :lookaroun


I would, if I didn't have to travel over seas go pickup the baby. Not to mention the high expense

It's ridiculous how difficult and expensive it is to adopt a child from a foreign country - a child who would otherwise languish in an orphanage, yet!

[Computer Magic]

It's ridiculous how difficult and expensive it is to adopt a child from a foreign country - a child who would otherwise languish in an orphanage, yet!

That because you have to grease the palms of so many foreign officials. I know people that adopted babies in other countries. You have to pay off so many people including the judges.

[figmentmom]

That because you have to grease the palms of so many foreign officials. I know people that adopted babies in other countries. You have to pay off so many people including the judges.

A woman I taught with and her husband adopted a little girl from China last January. They waited YEARS on a list, after paying unbelievable amounts of money to even be considered as adoptive parents. When they were finally matched with their future daughter, she languished in an orphanage for almost a full year before the paperwork was completed, and she was allowed to leave the country with her adoptive parents. That's a LONG time in terms of a child's physical, mental and emotional development. :huh

[Computer Magic]

A woman I taught with and her husband adopted a little girl from China last January. They waited YEARS on a list, after paying unbelievable amounts of money to even be considered as adoptive parents. When they were finally matched with their future daughter, she languished in an orphanage for almost a full year before the paperwork was completed, and she was allowed to leave the country with her adoptive parents. That's a LONG time in terms of a child's physical, mental and emotional development. :huhagreed and that is for both parties (baby and soon to be parents)

[figmentmom]

agreed and that is for both parties (baby and soon to be parents)

Exactly. That whole year, those parents KNEW their little girl was in an overcrowded, understaffed facility, with little or no nurturing. Meanwhile, back in the United States, she had a huge extended adoptive family just waiting for the day when they could hold her in their arms.